Wednesday, 24 September 2014

Robert Burns and Online Dating

It is generally accepted that in his short life, Robert Burns managed to father at least thirteen children, by four separate women.

Can you imaging what he could have done today, with the possibilities of better transport, better communication and more worryingly, online dating? Certainly logging on to a computer would have been ideal for Robert. Even at a very early age, he was writing poems to make the girls fall for him. Just imagine if he were using the same method today. No need to painstakingly write poems by hand - he could even use the same poem and send it to dozens of potential admirers.

And another thing. One of the problems he had with his first crush, Alison Begbie, was her name, which let's face it, wasn't very poetical. Seemingly, he referred to her as Peggy Alison (I can't see how that helped all that much). But nowadays, using online dating, he could then pick girls who had poetic names, like June (to rhyme with June) or Alice (to rhyme with palace)  and of course he would ignore girls with names like Natasha, which is much harder to rhyme. I was going to say that Natasha is not to be sneezed at - but that would be a very bad joke - so please forget I mentioned it.

And another thing - he could use the internet rhyme web sites to speed up the process of writing his poems and love songs, to allow more time to be with the lassies.

Which would invariably led to far more than thirteen children- and unlucky for some!!

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