Thursday, 25 September 2014

Rabbie Goes Job Huntin'

Okay. If he were alive today what type of work employment would Rabbie seek - for surely a job seekers allowance would not be enough to support his women, children and drinking!

Can you imagine the conversation if he popped into his local Reed employment agency, to meet up with the advisor there - Willie Getwirk. It might go along these lines.

Willie - Good afternoon Mr Burns
Rabbie - Call me Rabbie
Willie - All right Rabbie, can we start with your qualifications, GCSEs or A Levels?
Rabbie - Nae qualifications. A wee bit o' Latin and Greek.
Willie - Oh dear that's a pity. Tell me a little about your first job. You were a...
Rabbie - Plou'man
Willie - Plou'man? Ah yes a ploughman - well then, what make of tractors have you worked on
Rabbie - Tractors? Whit's a tractor?
Willie - This might be more difficult than I anticipated. I'm looking at your early references from the farm. The say "Mr Burns works very hard when he's not writing poems about mice and daisies. But these poems tend to have an impact on his productivity as a ploughman." Would that be right Rabbie?
Rabbie - Aye, that's right
Willie - The reference also goes on to say that "after a hard night at the bothy, Mr Burns was often unable to plough in a straight line the next day" Would that be right?
Rabbie - Aye
Willie - I'm afraid this is going to take a bit more effort than I expected. Could you come back tomorrow and we'll see what we can do. And one more thing, Rabbie
Rabbie - Aye
Willie - The next time you fill in an application form - it doesn't all need to be written in verse!

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